The UpSiDe of the UpBeAt Naval Life

2013 !  New Year !  New beginnings !  Filled with Hope and Joyful Anticipation ! 

I too decided to start the first post of this year on a positive note :)

If there are any senior naval officers or ladies reading this - Please bear with me. This is one of the “Join the Navy and See the World” kind of a post :)

Young ladies – to you all I can say I have lived both lives (navy and civilian) for a good period of time and I assure you that I am giving a very honest perspective :)

There is always a new beginning!

I lived all my childhood, adolescence in ONE house. My school was within 3 km, college within 15 km, even got married within a 2 Km radius of that house. Some may call it nice and settled but for a girl who loved to travel, it spelled – boring, boring, boring. Once I entered wedlock. Phew! All restraints off! I traveled to my heart’s content. You settle somewhere, more often than not; it becomes kind of mundane after a year. How do you like it if you can simply pack your bags and be off to a whole new place and whole new start! I mean no one can question you for having the wanderlust because we move under Government orders and so it is OFFICIAL ;)

Everything is paid for – you really see the world at almost no cost ;)

Your transfer (which includes packing, unpacking and tickets) is paid for by the Government. When people mocked at us for our frequent transfers I said – “Hey we get to see lovely places and stay there for free. So what is the big deal?”

Amazing places and even more amazing houses

Navy houses are awesome and ALWAYS situated at prime areas, away from the busy cities, in the most picturesque locations and sometimes as an added perk even near celebrities. How cool is it when your cousin calls and you can say – “You know I can see Ambani’s house from my sit out!” ;)

Beautiful neighborhoods

Unless you were born in a remote mountain you can never have a neighborhood like that available (within major cities) especially for the defense people. When I go to my parent’s house I have to drive for half an hour to reach the place where I can walk freely without fear of being run over by a vehicle. Where as in naval houses I simply have to step out of the door and start jogging

Better environment for children

You will cry if you see the condition of most of the public children’s parks. No offense to anyone. Some are good but most aren’t. Whereas in Navy I have never lived in a house which dint have at least 2 or 3 really good parks in the vicinity of your home. There is so much better security for the kids and plus they get to meet their own classmates when they go out. So they end up becoming socially more active and comfortable

Better relationship with neighbors

In civil life there is a tendency to stay closeted inside one’s house all the time. Sometimes people don’t even know who lives next door. But it is not so in Navy. Evening walks, gym, parties, canteen – somewhere or the other you will meet your neighbors and have a good social life

Easy admission in schools

If you have a 3 year old kid you have to be ready to part with a few Lakhs for a mere admission in a good school. Plus you need to be ultra alert to know the admission season and wait from 5 am near the counter. I am not mocking people who are struggling this way. I had to go through the same thing with my sister’s kid. It’s crazy out there. But for defense people, it’s simply a matter of few thousands and our kids can join the Navy Children School or KV any time of the year

Lot of freedom

This can have a flipside too. But the way I see it, the easy going party culture actually gives you a taste of the no-restrictions life. While at the same time giving you the freedom to choose! You experience a variety of things in this naval life. And then you can choose to stay in the good zone NOT because your parents force you to or because that is the only socially acceptable behavior BUT because you as a responsible adult made your own personal choice. That’s the way it worked for me. I started measuring my character to see what influence I wanted to have on my child then dropped off habits that I dint want my child to pick up and learnt new ones that I did want my  child to learn

Easy pursuit of hobbies

From reading, swimming, yachting, playing golf, squash, tennis, foot ball, basket ball – you name it Navy would have a well maintained venue for the pursuit of your hobbies and that too within a stone’s throw from the Naval quarters. I think many adults would lead a much happier life if only they had a hobby. Navy definitely encourages its people in this too :)

Adventurous life

You get to snorkel, scuba dive, live in a boat house, drive through snow and through sand dunes and on and on. You name it people in the Navy would have done it. There is no such thing called boredom once you enter Navy

Better Health

An active lifestyle is the second nature of anyone in the Navy. There are very few people in the Navy with problems of obesity, cholesterol and other lifestyle diseases. Even the ones that have such problems can be seen taking active steps to come out of it. This is partly because they are expected to be fit as part of their work. They are screened every year and any signs of disease is detected early and treated well. I must add the naval hospitals are good, well staffed and definitely affordable than most private hospitals

A novel blend of timeless traditions and broadminded modernism

You can rely on this culture to keep you happily engaged with a versatile lifestyle. Navy doesn’t let go a chance to have a good time. Be it the traditional welcoming party for a shy young bride and her new husband or sending off an officer by tossing him in the air with a LOUD rendition of “He’s a jolly good fellow!” Be it The New Year Ball or Ship’s Picnic. Be it the May Ball or the Rain Dance. The Navy Ball or the breakfast while betting on the officers’ yachting teams. Navy manages to skillfully combine the old and new and does it in style too !

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. This is not an exhaustive list of the many facets of Indian Navy Life but it most certainly gives an honest perspective of someone who lived it and appreciates it a lot.

Indian Navy Homemakers – 3 How to overcome loneliness

How to overcome loneliness 

I almost gave up continuing this series thinking – this is way too negative for a person like me. I always draw attention to the positives in life and live quite happily. It is a total reversal of my character to speak about depression, loneliness and the likes. But I think someone out there needs to read this. I’ll try to give possible solutions. I hope it helps. If not anything there is at least the comfort that you are not alone. Everyone undergoes crap in their life at some point of time. But the silver lining is – we can choose to come out broken or stronger.

How to overcome loneliness in Navy Life?

• What is loneliness? – Solitude, Isolation, Seclusion (courtesy thesaurus)

• The first step in coming out of any situation is – the decision to not be in it anymore

• If you have made up your mind you are already on the road to happiness

• Write these down - What is your definition of a friend and an acquaintance?

• My definition of a friend - Someone with whom you can confidently think aloud and be assured that you won’t be judged. Who corrects you firmly but with love when you are wrong, stands with you when you are in trouble and encourages you even when you don’t believe in yourself. This is what I strive to be with my friends. I think any human being should have at least one such person in their life. The upper limit depends on how much of an extrovert/introvert you are

• Thanks to technology you can keep in touch with your childhood/college friends despite physical distance. Just a simple decision to send at least 4/5 emails in a month (without fail) will keep the relationship alive and mutually enriching

• My definition of an acquaintance – Someone with whom I share a common constructive pastime. This enables me to keep the relationship at some level of closeness while not sharing anything personal

• Such relationships are common in navy. Many women get together to simply hang out while their children play with each other. That’s good.  For me, the one extra point is the conversation needs to be strictly non-gossip, so I choose my acquaintances carefully and look for common interests or sometimes even create common pastimes. For instance, my child became very good friends with a KG classmate. They wanted to play with each other every evening but that child’s mom and I had nothing in common! So we invented our own common pastime. We started teaching each other some of our healthy recipes for kids. Whenever our husbands sailed out and the children got jittery we would take the kids out for a walk, buy the ingredients, cook while our kids played, eat and retire for the evening with our happy and ready- for- sleep kids. We ended up having a good time and successfully kept our children happy although their papas were out in the sea

• Sometimes due to unavoidable circumstances, we can end up in a situation where we may be utterly alone. In such cases – learn to stop thinking only about yourself and reach out and help someone in need. Not necessarily an NGO. Just help your next door neighbour with her newborn kid or help a newly married lady with getting the ration or simply getting used to the naval environment. Visit a sick neighbour. If you have the heart to help, somehow God will show the people to whom you can be a blessing

• Spend time indulging in activities that get you outdoors and in the sun and fresh air

o   Go for regular walks and admire nature while listening to music in your walkman

o  Take a camera when you go out. Naval houses are always located in some picturesque surroundings. Make the most of it

o    Maintain a garden. Even if it is just a few pots and simple non-flowering plants

o    Having a pet is a good idea for pet lovers

o  If you love to star gaze do it. Since naval houses are near the sea there is less intrusion of smog and street lights. I have enjoyed many a good night of gazing at stars

o  Learn new things – If there is a cookery class/yoga class/ aerobics class – anything announced in the neighbourhood – JUST GO

o    Keep yourself busy with things that you love to do best

• Hope these tips help.  Let me conclude with what you should never do when you are feeling lonely

o   Don’t sleep for a long time

o   Don’t  binge on comfort foods

o   Don’t do mindless activities – like browsing the net/watching TV/cleaning the house for too long

o   Don’t stay closeted inside your house

o  Don’t expect people to know supernaturally that you exist and are looking for some company

o   Don’t get into depression and make your husband feel guilty about his work style

Never imagine that a bad phase would last forever. The biggest temptation when going through crap is – you think that the situation can never be changed. Whenever this thought enters your mind, remember - The first step in coming out of any situation is – the decision to not be in it anymore. God bless you.

Some Must Haves

As a Naval wife you will often find yourself handling situations on your own. It is good to be alert and on your toes. So here are a few helpful tips. 

1)      Connectivity

a)      When you move to a new place make sure you first find out which network has maximum connectivity in that area. Then go ahead and book one.

b)      Have a Nokia dual sim phone. It’s just a thousand and odd Rs. You can maintain a constant number wherever you go and a place specific temporary local no. for economy sake. Of course you can have two mobiles. But you may forget to charge one or take both the phones when you go out.  So this is an easier option.

c)       Avail a navy telephone handset first thing when you take over the accommodation. This is the most reliable mode of communication.

2)      Mobility

a)      Learn to drive a car. If not a car, at least have a scooter at your disposal. You cannot rely on getting an auto or using the public transport every time.

b)      If you are in a remote location public transport might simply not be available.

c)       When you have a car you also need to know how to fix a punctured tire, check the oil and of course fill the fuel tank. Yes, these things are best done by men. But we can get by. :)

d)      If you are at a remote location it is brilliant to store extra petrol/diesel, engine oil, distilled water etc.,

3)      Precautions

a)      If you have a small child

-      Stock up medicines, diapers, wet wipes, creams and the whole paraphernalia.

-         Have the pediatricians’ number handy and have a travel buddy.

-         A travel buddy (in this context) is a person who can hold your child when you need to drive to the doc’s office in case your hubby is not available to accompany you.

b)      If hubby is out on a long sailing

-      Stock up everything from dry ration to fresh ration and all that you can think of. (Remember navy ration stops when your hubby sails out. ;))

-         Have the canteen card with you along with the pin number.

-         Have a routine. Waking up a particular time, evening walks and a fixed bed time.

-         Arrange extempore get-togethers. Say you have a few neighbors whose husbands are sailing too, simply call them over for cake and tea. It is FUN. And Navy people are always ready to have fun. (That's something I love about Navy). So you won’t be disturbing anyone.

-         Keep in touch with (or at least have the telephone number of) the Captain’s wife. If you are in trouble she must be the first person to know. And you can rely on her guidance and help.

-         Have an internet connection so you can book tickets easily.

-         Have a local taxi number. This helps in case you need a lift to the train station or airport and you are unable to get a friend to drop you.

As a naval wife you have to be proactive and self sufficient. So learn to always think ten steps ahead. God bless!