How to raise and not race your children

I see women and men alike taking parenting SO lightly. Motherhood cannot be pursued as a side business or something that just happens in the background. Childhood is the time when humans are like wet clay. Mold them with diligence and precision you make something beautiful that glorifies God. Be aloof/ careless you end up with a badly shaped, hardened lump. 

Although there is no full guide for parenting that I know of there are few thumb rules we can all follow..

P -  Pray for your children  I raised my child as a single mother. My husband was sailing most of the time and both my parents and in laws stayed far away. I had no clue what I was doing. So I prayed. If my child threw inexplicable tantrums - I prayed, dint start speaking at the 'right' age - I prayed, dint know how to write - I prayed, fell ill - I prayed, fell down - I prayed. And my prayers were always answered with an apt solution. God helps mothers. A lot. 

A - Ask what they want... think... feel...    Asking questions make children feel important. It will help them form clear opinions and voice them with confidence. They will know who to turn to when they are in trouble - Not their friends but their parents. Just because your child doesn't complain doesn't mean he/she is fine. Ask and then wait patiently and listen to what they have to say. As a rule - don't judge them based on what they share with you. 

R - Respect them Respect them as individuals. Don't talk down to them.They also feel insulted when hit in a public place, irritated when they are hungry... If what they do is unreasonable explain things to them and convince them. Don't show the power of your muscles or vocal chords to get short term, immediate results. If you don't respect them when they are young and dependent on you, they wont respect you when you are old and dependent on them. 

E - Encourage them Minimize name calling, fault finding and find something good about them and praise them often. Catch them doing good and shower praises. Breeze over small mistakes. But of course correct them firmly with moral issues. The trick is to make them responsible for their behavior and choices at the same time showing them clearly that they are loved beyond measure. Also entertainment is not parenting. I have seen fathers simply hand over their mobiles for their children to play with and not bother spending time with them. Educating is not parenting either. I have also seen mothers who can coax their 2 year old to say A to Z and Jan to Dec but have no say over their children's tantrums or hopeless social behavior. 

N- Nurture a good marriage If the home front is full of shouting and fights the child will grow into an emotional wreck, no matter how pampered he/she is. And when they are old enough to have friends they'd lean and trust their own peers than they do their parents. If you are married and you have a child it is your responsibility to love your spouse, communicate and work out differences and stand united in front of your child. Children place an unusual importance in knowing that their parents love each other. 

T - Teach through example Be what you want your child to be. Preaching wont work. Children are under estimated when it comes to how much they can observe. Parents can live in an imaginary world where all their negative habits and swear words are invisible and inaudible to their child. Then one day they'll be jolted to reality when their five year old does exactly what they do in front  of the disapproving visitors. 

It is not enough if children are well dressed/ well behaved and so on. Pouring in the right values at the right age is most important. Observe your children (it takes time but is worth the effort) and train them in the way they should go. And when they grow old they'd know what path they should choose. God bless.