Soar with Joy

When you go to sleep at night what thoughts enter your head? Are they about negative things that happened to you or positive upbeat thoughts? More often than not it is the former (We’ll admit this if we are honest)… :)

Man is made for relationships. So no wonder the identity of a man is defined by how he perceives himself, how others perceive him and how he thinks others perceive him. (All of these opinions may differ from what he actually is. But that’s another story). People are not angels. Simply put we all are imperfect and slightly confused individuals. So if you form an opinion about yourself from three different imperfect, slightly confused inputs you’ll certainly end up not liking yourself. :) And if you don’t like yourself you’ll not allow anyone around you to like their own selves. If you are unhappy you won’t affirm anyone else’s happiness.

In a high proximity environment like ours everyone will have opinions about everyone else. How to feel happy about yourself in a world that constantly picks at you? If a considerable amount of people criticize you, you’ll probably start believing the lies they say about you. This is a red alert situation; one that needs to be dealt with.

The Bible emphasizes at two places (maybe more but I know of two) that you have to become like little children to enter the kind of life God has kept for you. We think children are naïve and need us for guidance but God teaches grown men keeping little children as examples. There are certain things that little children do, that we don’t and don’t, that we do.

1) Little children don’t go on and on dissecting negative incidents until they go crazy and depressed

2) They can quickly forget what happened to them down to the last couple of minutes

3) Their memories are full of where the chocolates are hidden, what rewards had been promised to them for good behavior, when their birthday is coming up and who will give what gifts and so on. In short their memories are saturated with positive, hope filled issues

4) They forgive quickly and hence are not scarred. If you shout at children they might be hurt for a while but once you calm down they’ll come right back as though nothing happened. They’ll not plan to get back at you on a different occasion or sulk for days together. Their time is too precious to be wasted on such activities

5) They have very positive opinions about themselves and they don’t care two hoots if anyone thinks otherwise :). If you scold a child groundlessly she wouldn’t think of ways to somehow change and get approval from you. Instead she would leave you and spend time with people who adore her. Her world will not be shaken by one negative opinion

6) They are quick learners. I have seen adults who have problems sending a SMS. But children!! They can figure out ipads, ipods, tablets you name it. They are thrilled easily and they are never too lazy to learn anything new that can add value to their lives

7) They watch good movies. Where the heroine is a brave heart and can stand up for herself and her people. The hero is a hard working young man who respects women and gives his heart to only one lady and he treats her like a princess all his life :)

Courtesy : http://samlim.deviantart.com/

8) They remain the same everywhere. They hardly have any prejudice. I have seen little children speak with exactly the same indulgence with the CO of a ship and the amma cleaning their rooms back home

9)  They don’t take life too seriously 

10) They CELEBRATE their victories however small. They don’t ignore their triumphs to plan for their next big conquest. They truly live in the now – where the real life is happening

There is indeed a lot we can learn from children :)

Be a leader

The word “leader” always invokes a mental image of a very strong person, looking determinedly into the horizon. He has a purpose and a lot of people working towards a common cause.

Well he’s not the one I am talking about. I am talking about normal people like you and me.

My first definition of a leader is a person who can bring out the best in people including his/her own self. That is, they go and take charge of their future, put in maximum efforts and thrust into the journey towards their goal.

This I assumed was a good enough definition of a leader. But was it?  

Many strong people who have everything by the world’s definition are wrecks inside simply because they have no hope. They crave for love and encouragement but sadly receive very little. The world around us doesn’t function this way any longer. People don’t always give us love and encouragement. Many people don’t have the time or the inclination. And many don’t know what we are undergoing and hence they remain aloof. So, that means we have to look for a constant source of love and encouragement. And Thank God that He has provided that, just the same way He has provided oxygen, food, water and sleep.

God Himself is the source for Love. The Bible says, For God so loved the world He gave His only begotten son to die for us, so that whoever believes in Him may not perish but have eternal life. This is just one of the six hundred and odd verses that talk about love in the Bible. I am convinced that God is madly in love with you and me. :) But sometimes we may not always feel His love. So, mark out people who love you. Stay in constant touch with these people so you don’t run out of your supply of love. This is a conscious choice, because we tend to give more attention to people who trample us and take people who love us for granted; when it should have been the other way round.

The second basic necessity of life encouragement can also be received from God. The next person who must encourage you all the time is – yourself. After all you spend maximum time with yourself more than anybody else. So when you get up in the morning don’t wait for something inspiring to happen. Or something exciting to come and hit you so you feel happy. More often than not there are more things to bring you down than there are to lift you up. So it is your responsibility to have a positive attitude.

It is also nice if you can take the responsibility to help people around you to gain a positive attitude.   This will definitely make you a leader. So in addition to my definition - A leader is also “A person who can plant hope right into the hearts of the people who seek” (Dr. David Yonggi Cho in the book 4^th dimensional living in a 3 dimensional world).

So you who are reading this – check yourself. Mark out the people who you can influence and make it your everyday habit to bless them, plant hope in their hearts, give them a sense of purpose in their lives, and don’t forget to do all of the above to your own self, too. Many want to follow but few are born to lead. How about you?

Be not afraid to change

Infants hate change. They love to cling to familiar people and familiar environment. They grow pretty scared and upset with even the slightest change. Sometimes this spills into adulthood. We have set patterns and routines. For eg. Some of us have cupboards overflowing with clothes but end up wearing the same few dresses over and over again because we imagine it “suits” us. Familiar things give us a sense of safety. But between the two which one would you like to have as a middle name – safety or adventure?

So, be not afraid to change……

1)      Your dreams What happens when you have to change your life’s dream? Say you wanted to be a doctor and ended up being a pharmacist, an army officer but ended up being an architect or a fashion designer and ended up being a home maker... Is it the end of the world? ; Of course not! Sometimes what you thought you should do might have been just because “everybody else is doing it”. These dreams will never have the necessary fuel to come to fruition. You’ll keep talking about it but you won’t get it done. (Sounds familiar?) So, if there are plans/ dreams that are going stale in your closet, dump them. It is the old adage; don’t spend your time looking at a door that won’t open, that you don’t notice the door that is standing wide open. Find what works for you and keep doing it diligently. Don’t worry about what people would think – People are just people NOT God.

2)      You  There is one more transformation you shouldn’t be afraid to make. The changes you must make to adapt to a new environment. Say, you are from a place where no one cared how you dressed/ what you ate/ how you socialized etc., and then you land up in the upscale environment of Navy. Don’t be an infant clinging to old patterns. Change; not your principles, rather your persona. (Your character is what will remain with you throughout eternity. So don’t mess with that.) But the way Navy hones your personality is truly rich. Don’t miss the opportunity. The quicker you adapt to Navy the easier it is on your hubby who I am sure you want to please. And the end results are always the best.

A small tip - One sure shot way of pushing useless repetition out of your life is - Doing at least one thing you have never done before, every week. This way your life would have variety and you’ll be the change in your area of influence.