How to overcome depression

Marie curie said – “Nothing is to be feared it is only to be understood”

Depression – Usually starts as a negative thought

If you can just understand this you will have more control over your emotions going hay wire. Depression is not something you have to live with. In fact you were born to have a bountiful life. All God has made is for humans to enjoy. Nothing or no one should rob us from this right.

Since this is a very important topic – I hope you all will continue to write to me about specific issues that you need advice for. Believe me when I say this – someone out there is going through exactly what you are undergoing. If you learn how to come out of the trap door called depression, you can help out someone who needs comfort and support. We are not stand alone creatures who live life on their own islands. We all are created to do to others as we would have them do to us.

Mind is the seat of all thoughts. To overcome negative thoughts you need to REPLACE it with positive ones.  This is called “renewing your mind”. This is why reading positive books is VERY important – I suggest books by Joyce Meyer. This woman has really been used by God to help millions come out of depression and other issues.

As I said – Words are very powerful. Any human knows that thoughts are made of words. A negative thought comprises of negative words. A positive thought comprises of positive words. I know that this is the obvious. But I’m stating this explicitly so that you understand that dealing with depression comes down to WHAT WORDS comprise your thoughts.

Let me explain my point more clearly.  Just read the following words.

Suicide, Accident, Betrayal, BOI (that’s board of enquiry), Long sailing ;)

Do you feel good right now?

Now read this….

Happiness, Good-health, Joy, Peace, Romance, Loving loyal husband/wife, Loving in-laws, holidays, friends, financial security, zero calorie chocolates ;)… I could go on…

Now how do you feel?

The reason I am writing this is – overcoming depression is very simple. Simply replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Let me explain, once again, with few examples

Some people can hurt you very badly with their words. I have had my share of insults and taunts and straight-on-the-face mockery and criticism. I overcame all this through Jesus to become the smiling, calm and composed lady that I am. I am not boasting. I believe every human being should have self worth. Each one of us is unique and hence PRECIOUS to God. A story best illustrates how God sees you.

This is the “Twenty dollar bill” story whose author I don’t know. (If one of you knows who the author is please mention the name. I will acknowledge him/her here).

A professor once brought in a twenty dollar bill to his class. He held it up and asked who would want to possess it. All hands shot up. Then he proceeded to crumple it and make it into a really small ball. All creases crisscrossing through the note he held it up and asked once more who would want it. Again all hands shot up. Then he threw the note on the floor and stomped his shoe clad feet on it and said “This is a filthy, no good one dollar fake note”. Then he picked up the soiled, crumpled note and asked who would still want it. And yet again all the hands shot high up in the air. Then he proceeded to say – “Imagine you are the twenty dollar bill and remember this lesson all your lives. No matter what people do to you or say about you, they cannot reduce your value. You are still worthy, you are still wanted, you are still valuable”

Sometimes life’s odds can be really stacked up against you. I read this inspiring story in one of the Chicken Soup for the soul® books. I am not sure of the author. I’ll locate the author’s name ASAP and acknowledge it here.

The story is about a handicapped boy (he walks with braces) who decides to join a racing competition. His mom is skeptical about the whole issue and doesn’t want her son to be hurt. But on his insistence she allows him to participate and stays home not wanting to see her son go through the pain of defeat. She waits for him in the evening and he walks into the house carrying a trophy! The first thought that comes into her head is – “Oh they gave him an easy start”. But then her son changes her perspective within seconds when he says “Mom, I knew everyone had an advantage over me… SO I JUST HAD TO TRY HARDER THAN ALL THOSE IN THE RACE.. And I won”

What an attitude!

How many of us think such thoughts – if only I had a better schooling, better parenting, better looks, better husband/wife, better in-laws, better surroundings, better status, better car, better house, better CO, better sub-ordinates, better colleagues, better neighbors and so on… Reading such stories would help us to take an honest appraisal of our lives and start from where we are and if the odds are stacked against us – Lets just try a little harder and surely we will win :)

How often should you renew your mind?

Do it as often as you require. Every time your mind wanders to negative thoughts replace it with positive ones. I am a Christian. Every time I feel afraid of someone. I repeat this verse from the Bible. “The Lord is my helper. I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me” In times of distress I repeat this verse – “In all things God works for my good” When I feel weak and tired out with my over crowded schedule I use this verse “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me” and so on.. These are merely a few of the instances from my life. I deal with almost everything this way. And I can honestly say – I am happy

One more cause for depression which can easily be dealt with is

A woman's risk for depression goes up when her body is going through physical and hormonal changes — like after childbirth and when the child is too small and needs constant 24/7 care and attention. Couple this with the frequent transfers in Navy and you have a depressed navy wife

I was one such lady. Now I am not. So the ladies out there going through such difficulties – I have good news. Once your child becomes two or three years old, you will automatically come out depression

But while you are still IN the postpartum phase what do you do?

DON’T OVEREAT - This will be a habit too hard to break, way after you are out of depression

It is Ok to cry even if you are alone but make sure you get up, wash your face, dress up and go out after that

Take help from mom/MIL. If that’s not possible then at least hire a good maid

Have certain things regular in your life no matter what. Like evening walks to a familiar place, Morning Prayer etc., I strongly recommend reading a good book that renews your mind before you start your day

Choose a mentor. If you don’t use the wealth of experience shared by the people who have been on earth before you, you will be wasting a lot of time trying things out the first time and making mistakes. A mentor can be a parent, relative, college senior, a favorite author and so on. There is a lot to learn from our elders. This may sound cliché but their experience holds a wealth of information that we can take advantage of

Exercise is one of the beautiful ways to de-stress. I don’t mean exercise to look thin. I mean the kind that you enjoy doing – I love to walk on my treadmill. This is my ideal route for combining exercise and fun. Exercise releases happy hormones :) If you have never tried this before do it now. Find out which is the best time for you in a day before you embark on a routine

Do something for yourself – facial/pedi/mani/waxing – you name it. May be hit the hair spa. Just take time for yourself and get pampered. And don’t forget you can still look good and dress up well even if you have just had a baby

Hope these tips helped you. God bless..