Be a Confident Woman

Dictionary meaning of the word - Confident: sure of oneself; having no uncertainty about one's own abilities, correctness and successfulness; bold

 Indian parents (at least the parents I know) teach qualities like helping others, being respectful to elders, displaying good behavior in general; adjusting to whatever surroundings you are in, not blowing your own trumpet and so on.

One major quality they don’t teach is to be confident. Women in India can be so modest that they have a volume of talents in them just shut up because they are too unsure of what might happen if they open up. What’s worse they might end up living their whole life in fear of someone or something or some imaginary situation.

I believe it is the birth right of all human beings to be able to love and celebrate the unique creations they are and in short to simply enjoy life. Among the many books I have read about confidence building – Joyce Meyer’s “The confident woman” is very practical and easy to follow.

I strongly urge the reader to buy this book. It definitely changed my life. I have shared only a very small portion of the book here because I don’t want to infringe any copyright issues.

Secrets of a confident woman 

1)    A confident woman knows that she is loved

     To be whole and complete we need to know that we are loved. Although not everyone will accept and love us, some will. I encourage you to concentrate on those who do love you and forget about those who don’t.

2)    A confident woman refuses to live in fear

     Fear causes people to bury their talents due to fear of failure, judgment or criticism. It causes them to draw back in misery and live in torment. Don’t spend time with people who wear you down and give the worst case scenario about everything. Unless we make a firm decision to not fear we can never come out of its power. One way of shutting down fear is to “Do it afraid”. Even if you are feeling scared just do what you need to do. Eventually the feeling wears off. Stop focusing on your feelings and simply ‘do it afraid’.

3)    A confident woman is positive

Confidence and negativity do not mix together. They are like oil and water. Being positive is a choice – it is a way of thinking, speaking and acting. It has been said that 90% of what we worry about never happens! So why not believe something good is going to happen to you?      

4)    A confident woman recovers from setbacks

We don’t need to see setbacks as failures. A person fails only when she stops trying. Most of the people who are huge successes failed their way to success. If you step out, try something and fail, at least you know you shouldn’t do that again. If you are doing nothing with your life because you are not sure what to do, then pray and try some things. Eventually after a few setbacks you will discover your destiny.          

5)    A confident woman avoids comparisons 

     Confidence is not possible as long as we compare ourselves with other people. No matter how beautiful or talented or wealthy you are there is always someone who will be better than you in that area. Our joy should not be found in being better than others but in being the best we can be. The world always gives the impression that we need to be something other than what we are. God purposely made us all different and different is not bad. Be content with yourself. That doesn’t mean you cannot make progress and continually improve. It means celebrate your uniqueness and start enjoying you.

6)    A confident woman takes action

     There are two kinds of people in the world – ones that wait for something to happen and the ones that make something happen. The naturally shy person must overcome anxiety, timidity, the temptation to withdraw from challenges and low confidence. Making mistakes is not the end of the world. Don’t sit in the sidelines of life wishing you were doing the things you see other people doing. Take action and get a life! When you want to do something, don’t let yourself think about all the things that could go wrong. Be positive and think about the exciting things that can happen.

7)    A confident woman does not live in “if only” and “what if”

     People can feel empty bemoaning what they don’t have instead of using what they do have. Don’t live in the tyranny of “if only”. If only I had a better education, more money, more opportunity, more beauty and so on. “If only” is the thief of “what could be”. “What if” is an equally devastating phrase. Negatively anticipating a future experience is more devastating than actually experiencing the problem. What if a loved one dies, what if something bad happens, what if my husband cheats me and so on. Anyone can become miserable with that kind of thinking. Think of things that will help you and not hinder you. Think confident and you will be confident.