Welcoming Party (?!?) Whats that ?

Navy welcomes its ladies in style. I had my welcoming party in a BEAUTIFUL restaurant that really floored me. I was invited with a lovely bouquet and a hand written card by my hubby's boss' wife with the whole officer's company and their ladies applauding. As a young girl out of college, it was a huge thing for me! They did manage to impress me with all the pomp and style. :)

Dressing up for a party is no big deal. If the party is in a restaurant just dress comfortably, sleep well in the afternoon (parties tend to go late into the night), don't think too much about how people are going to treat you (they are usually very nice) and give positive affirmations to yourself (if you are the shy kind).

If the party is on board a  ship be sure to read these tips.

* No high heels. There are too many ladders, ramps and dented (for a purpose) floors in the ship. You might end up twisting your ankle or worse, feeling foolish in front of everyone. Wear flats.

* If you are already comfortable climbing the steep stairways in a ship then go with a saree. But if this is the first time on board then this is not the time to show off all your wedding collections. Pick a suit/ jean with a beautiful top. Just don't go with something that flows all over the place or requires you to hold it with your hand. You need both your hands to climb up and down with dignity. Trust me.

* Salty ocean air makes your face oily after sometime. Have wet tissues / hand kerchiefs dabbed with powder / compact along with you.

* If its summer then don't make the mistake of leaving your long hair down your back. You will sweat like crazy. Tie your hair up in a pony or get a stylish bun done in the beauty parlor.

* Keep yourself hydrated with the juices they serve on board. Don't think about dieting just now. Having a juice in hand comes handy when there is nothing interesting to converse with the lady sitting next to you.

* Once you are on board, make it a point to greet everyone with a friendly smile and a "hello". Thank the sailors serving food for you.

* When your husband takes you around to be introduced to different officers, have a warm smile and be sure to answer only questions directed at you. Don't jump and start a conversation until you are adept at reading the rank of the person(through the stripes they wear on their shirts) and knowing how senior he is to your husband.

* Sit with the younger looking ladies. I always follow this precaution. I make it a point to greet everyone and make a beeline towards the young ladies. But many times I have been VERY pleasantly surprised by lovely ladies who are so humble despite their husband's high ranks and who actually make an effort to help you feel comfortable.

* Always keep an eye on your husband (who will be standing on the other end of the ship) to get any hints. Sometimes in a welcoming party you are the one to start the buffet and also the first to leave the ship. It would be a little awkward if you are not in sync with him.

Lastly be yourself. Don't try to be someone else. Hold your head high and be confident of the unique person you are.

Newly Wed - You are perfect as you are !

Being a newly wed is something similar to being in the 12th grade in India. Every Mrs.Tom, Mrs.Dave and Mrs.Harry gives you advice. They range from how to wear your sarees to which utensil is best to put your leftovers in. People just can't mind their own business. So my dear newly wed make it a decision to hear them out politely but not to jump their loop. It is your life and you will learn as you go. You are perfect as you are.

Focus on yourself. Weddings are exhausting ! So take time to ease into the routine. If you are married to a naval officer you are most probably planning on being a home maker [I'll touch on this topic later named - "To work or not to work"]. If you are anything like me, you would have been a pampered intelligent kid back home whose cooking experience is limited to boiling water.

OK. I wasn't that bad. But I did consider having curd rice/chapathi with pickle amounted to a full meal. Don't judge me too hastily. Now my husband can't eat at restaurants happily because he LOVES my cooking. I learned it along the way and so will you.

 * If you are adept at cooking well, knock him down ! If not, pick up VERY SIMPLE recipes and try it out on him. Husbands do place a lot of importance in getting good food. Naval guys are especially waiting for home cooked food because of all the ship food they have eaten for years together.

* Being well dressed and presentable at ALL times is a MUST. For you never know which hour of the day you would have guests. I have served coffee to people at 2:00 am. You get the point. :)

* Keep a maid. Some of the naval houses are HUGE and if you try to do it all you'd end up doing only that the whole day. CHECK THE GOING SALARY of a maid with a friendly neighbor before you send word for a maid. Maids can tell you hiked salaries and IF you naively accept it you will be the bad lady in the colony who raised the rates !

* Hobbies are a MUST. Even if it means walking in the picturesque surroundings/hitting the free naval gym/visiting the fully-equipped naval libraries, do it. Don't make the mistake of sitting around at home waiting for your husband to come back. Have a life of your own, doing things that you enjoy doing. It HELPS !

* Choose your friends carefully. Take your time. Don't open up to everyone who SEEMS nice. In a sociable environment like this ALL the people are nice but only some are trustworthy and really build you up. Be cautious. Don't let loneliness make you put up with some really nasty people. Draw the line where you need to. Navy life is NOT difficult. It takes time to get used to. But you are more than capable to handle it.

* Navy life usually has a lot of sailing, that means time away from home. So make sure you enjoy the time you get with your hubby. Find activities you enjoy doing together and do it.Don't make the mistake of hosting parties when he is around after a stint of sailing. Constantly having (even if they are good) friends around is NOT going to help you know each other better. Be strict about couple-time and in the leftover time make sure you are with people who you BOTH enjoy being with.